At Last, a Gene Simmons Doll That Spits Blood Is Available for Purchase

Kiss fans, your long nightmare of having to pretend that your Gene Simmons action figures are really spitting blood has finally come to an end.

Thanks to the geniuses at Figures Toy Company, the ever-expanding army of Kiss merchandise now includes a fully articulated, 12-inch version of Simmons — decked out in his trademark “Demon” garb, natch — that comes packed with “BLOOD SPITTING ACTION.”

memories130408_simmons_560The figure, which also comes with a miniature Punisher bass, allows you to recreate Simmons’ signature stunt courtesy of an empty head — no jokes, Kiss haters — that’s filled with fake blood (or real blood, we guess, if you’re really into that kind of thing) which comes spurting out, as seen in the video below.

Mini-Simmons’ blood spewing isn’t without its risks: Buyers are warned that you need to wear rubber gloves while carefully pumping the stuff into the doll’s little noggin, because it’ll stain anything it touches (“Figures Toy Company is not responsible for damage to clothing or other articles that the fake blood comes into contact with”). And at $69.99, this isn’t exactly an impulse buy, or the kind of action figure you’re liable to leave lying around the playroom for your kids to introduce to the other, less awesome toys in the house.

This deluxe-edition Simmons comes courtesy of the same company that, several years ago, rolled out a line of Kiss retro action figures, and joins a line of band-approved toys whose recent additions include Funko plushies and official Kiss Uglydolls. Budget accordingly this holiday season.