Cryptic Slaughter‘s album CONVICTED managed to sell over 30 000 copies, one of which I picked up at a failed retail outlet called Treble Clef, far from the Ottawa suburban sanctuary Kanata where I grew up, and very near a weird condo my dad bought to have sex with his secretaries. I’m pretty sure this

1record was recorded inside of Fort Knox, because it is a golden example of how fun capturing speed to magnetic tape can be. We thought of CS as being crossover because we didn’t even know grind was possible. The first track was all I needed; M.A.D. (Mutually Assured Destruction) starts with an attention grabbing staccato then abruptly introduces us to the tempo we dreamed for… then the mosh. Thanks.

If you have a birthday in September you already know you are the product of a drunk fuck and your parents only suspended their extreme hatred for each other in order to symbolically celebrate the New Year. In honour of all the unwanted September children here is some footage of the greatest birthday party of all time. Pretend this Bell Air Garden Party is for you. – BLAKE

(Blake Jacobs has been quaking bowels with his riffage for some 25 years now.  Currently, he can be found bashing skulls with his crossover juggernaut World War 4, as well as the occasional alien landing of Manpower.  For most, he can be found greeting patrons with his wizard smile at the amazing arcade-bar House of TARG in Ottawa, Canada.)