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(What the hell was Sharon and Ozzy thinking?  Yes, it took the brand of the bat-eating maniac off the table, but it turned that family into fucking muppets.  He’s the prince of darkness don’t ya know, and he sure reminded us of all of that as much as he could.  As much as I’d like to believe Ozzy got up on that elliptical machine every day, I’m sure, like all of these bullshit reality shows, much of what we saw was heavily scripted for dramatic effect.  I watched every season of this thing, because I couldn’t let it go by without paying close attention, and this is probably what the television network was banking on.  It’s good to see that Jack got some legit work out of all this.  I like that guy – he takes his dad to bat every chance he has – I like that.  Here’s what the interweb has to say about that shitty show with the rotten jingle for a theme song. – FATS)

The Osbournes

The Osbournes is an American reality television program featuring the domestic life of heavy metal singer Ozzy Osbourne and his family. The series premiered on MTV on March 5, 2002, and in its first season, was cited as the most-viewed series ever on MTV. The final episode of the series aired March 21, 2005.

On October 7, 2014, Sharon Osbourne announced on Loose Women that eight new episodes will hopefully be filmed in January 2015; they will serve as a catch-up for the original series as well as a chance for Ozzy to appear on the show sober, since he has confirmed he was intoxicated during every taping for the series’ original run.

In addition to metal musician Ozzy, the show features his wife and manager Sharon, and their children Jack and Kelly. The Osbournes have another daughter, Aimee, who refused to participate in the show, and publicly criticized her parents for their antics on the show. In most family photos shown on the show, she is either absent or blurred. The series also followed the family as they dealt with major events such as Sharon’s battle with cancer, and the aftermath of an ATV accident that nearly killed Ozzy.

The theme song for the show is a cover of Ozzy’s song “Crazy Train”, done in a jazz-swing style reminiscent of Pat Boone.

Concurrent with the success of the series, Kelly Osbourne launched a brief career as a singer, while Sharon Osbourne hosted The Sharon Osbourne Show. The family also parodied their TV series during cameo appearances at awards shows, and in the film Austin Powers in Goldmember.

Jack and Kelly’s friend Robert made regular appearances on the show; Sharon took him in during the second season after his mother died of cancer. While a constant presence in front of the camera, few plots revolved around Robert and he had few lines. After the series ended, it was reported that the Osbournes had sent Robert back to Rhode Island to live with his father after spending a week at a psych ward. The Osbournes were assumed to have adopted Robert, but Sharon Osbourne has denied it.

Another person making recurring appearances on the show is Melinda, Sharon’s executive assistant and nanny, who is also married to Ozzy’s tour manager. She is often seen trying to get Jack out of bed while he berates and belittles her, telling her to “get a real job.” Melinda is originally from Australia.

Ozzy confirmed in an interview on BBC Radio 2 in May 2009 that he was “stoned during the entire filming of The Osbournes” and will not watch the episodes for this reason.

Profanity was censored during MTV broadcasts of the series in the United States. In an interview Ozzy himself stated that while he was happy that the Canadian broadcasts were uncensored, he preferred the censored version because the cursing was more noticeable due to the bleeps.[citation needed] The Canadian broadcasts on CTV and UK broadcasts on MTV and Channel 4 are uncensored. Some episodes were also aired uncensored to Australian audiences when shown on Network Ten. It is broadcast uncensored on MTV Australia.