The AMC Gremlin
(This car hit the market on April Fools day 1970 – that should have been their first warning – what a fucking dud. Yet, some folks love them. Remember ‘Layne’ in River’s Edge – that dude pumped the Slayer out of his Gremlin – wicked)
The AMC Gremlin is a subcompact introduced on April 1, 1970 and manufactured and marketed in a single, two-door body style in the United States and Canada (1970-1978) by American Motors Corporation (AMC) — as well as in Mexico (1974-1978) by AMC’s Vehículos Automotores Mexicanos (VAM) subsidiary.
Featuring a shortened Hornet platform and bodywork with a Kammback tail, the Gremlin was classified an economy car by 1970s U.S. standards and competed with the Chevrolet Vega and Ford Pinto, as well as imported cars that included the Volkswagen Beetle and Toyota Corona. The small domestic automaker marketed the Gremlin as “the first American-built import”.
The Gremlin reached a total production of 671,475 over a single generation — and was superseded by a restyled variant, the AMC Spirit.
The Fiat Multipla
(Now, I kind of like the newer models of Fiat’s, but sweet glorious dig shit this one if fucking ugly.)
The Fiat Multipla (Type 186) is a family car produced by Italian automaker Fiat from 1998 to 2010. Based on the Brava, the Multipla was shorter and wider than its rivals. It had two rows of three seats, while all its competitors had two seats in the front (the Honda FR-V, which has the same layout, was released in 2004). The Multipla was even shorter than the three-door Fiat Bravo upon which it was based, despite offering substantially more space and seating.
In common with a number of other modern Fiats, the Multipla reused the name of an earlier vehicle, in this case the “Multipla” variant of the Fiat 600 produced during the 1950s and 1960s.
Chrysler PT Cruiser
(I’m all for retro hot rods, but c’mon – this piece of shit is the soccer mom version and it just fucking sucks. I know a few folks that have this car, and it’s just sad. What? – Did you think you were cool in your modernized ‘hot rod’ – fucking idiots. Ugly as fuck.)
The Chrysler PT Cruiser is a retro styled compact automobile (fuck off) launched by Chrysler as a 5-door hatchback in early 2000 (for the 2001 model year) and as a 2-door convertible in early 2005 (added to the 2005 model lineup).
Originally conceived as a Plymouth model, the PT Cruiser received the Chrysler nameplate on introduction in anticipation of the 2001 discontinuation of the Plymouth brand. The PT Cruiser was designed by Bryan Nesbitt, who later also styled the Chevrolet HHR. The name “PT Cruiser” includes the initialism PT, standing for “Personal Transport” and designating the car’s platform as well as production code.
A four-seat convertible model was added for 2005. It is a two-door with an integrated “sport bar” for added rigidity and rollover protection. The sport bar also caused air to flow over the rear seat passengers. Convertible production ended December 21, 2007, but the last 2007 convertibles were marketed as 2008 models. On January 12, 2009, Chrysler LLC, under the private equity firm of Cerberus Capital Management, announced the gradual discontinuation of the main model.
On July 6, 2009, after reorganization into the “New Chrysler”, the company changed plans to discontinue the model by specifying that it will do so for Canadian and Mexican markets only. On July 9, 2010 the PT Cruiser ended (thank fuck) production. Worldwide production totaled 1.35 million units.
The Chevy SSR
(There will be, and only ever will be, one car/pick up truck mashup that will ever be cool, and it sure as fuck isn’t the Chevy SSR. This Jetson’s-esque bubble-mobile seems like some oval reject of a car. It’s as damn ugly as the PT Cruiser. As much as the other car/pickup truck vehicle has it’s merits, it’s still a stupid idea. This ridiculous thing doesn’t even really have any carrying capacity. Dumb.)
The Chevrolet SSR (Super Sport Roadster) is a retractable hardtop convertible pickup truck manufactured by Chevrolet between 2003 and 2006.
The 2003 and 2004 models used General Motors’ Vortec 5300 engine, a 5.3 L 300 hp V8. Performance was 7.7 s to 60 mph (97 km/h) with a 15.9 s/86.4 mph quarter mile run. The 2005 SSR used the 390 hp (291 kW) LS2 V8 also found in the C6 Corvette and Pontiac GTO, and also offered a manual transmission (the six-speed Tremec) for the first time, as an option. For the 2006 model year, the LS2 engine featured minor modifications that boosted its output to 395 hp (automatic transmission) and 400 hp (manual transmission), respectively. In addition, GM badges were added to the vehicle.
The Zundap Janus
(What the fuck?!?! Imagine trying to park this fucking idiotic car. You get into the parking lot and you park up against another car parked in the lot. If there is a car in front of you, or even a wall in front of you, the driver cannot get out. I am a firm believer in movies crossing the Rubicon of awful and becoming awesome again, and for this reason I want one of these cars. They sure are fucking ridiculous though.)
Under a commercial agreement, Dornier licensed Zündapp to produce and market the car. Further developed using Zündapp’s engineering input and envisaged as a “quality bubble car”, the novel developed design featured a front-opening door for access to the front seat, as well as a rear-opening door for access to the rear-facing rear seat. This “coming or going” design was given the name of the Roman god, Janus, usually pictured having two faces: one looks forward while the other one looks back. The car was powered by a mid-mounted 2-stroke single cylinder 245 cubic centimetres (15.0 cu in) engine unique to the Janus, developing 14 hp (10 kW), enabling a top speed of 80 km/h (50 mph). The suspension was of the MacPherson strut type that proved to be very comfortable, and then the company added four individually mounted ventilated brake drums, operated via hydraulics
Production started in June 1957. However, whilst in racing and sports cars the mid-engine configuration leads to optimal car handling, the engine in the Janus was much lighter than the rear passengers, leading to a variable centre of gravity. Secondly the car lacked the most modern elements seen on competitors cars, and was not low-priced. These factors combined to result in a lack of sales success, with only 1,731 cars were made in the first six months. By mid-1958, having made only a total of 6,902 cars, Zündapp abandoned the project and sold the factory to Bosch.