Okay, here we go. This week on the show, Slim Cessna told us about the poutine challenge he and his band mates have while touring Canada. In this challenge, he and at least one other member of the band will eat glorious poutine each and every day while in Canada. Well, as rockandrolljunkie.com is somewhat Canadian, and this pudgy writer lives very close to the Quebec border, we find it necessary to help the band find the best poutine possible. This challenge is harrowing enough for one’s gastrointestinal system, and life in a tour van can get very rotten very fast if the wrong process is taken in this quest. If some of you are saying ‘what the fuck is poutine?’, here’s the only explanation you need (anything fancier than this is not real poutine.)
French Fries (usually larger sized and deep fried)
Cheese Curds (the small bits of squeeky cheese bits, the best come from Quebec in Canada – sorry Wisconsin)
Beef Gravy (add the cheese curds to the fries and smother with beef gravy)
As I said, many places will try to get fancy and she-she with their poutine, and perhaps after a few goes at the traditional flavor your palate may yearn for a different tone, but please stick with the traditional to get the true sense of the glory that is French Canadian Poutine. This is what Slim and the lads will be having during their 5 day jaunt across Canada.
To make things easier and more enjoyable for Slim and his crew, we have scoured the land of poutine to find the very best places to enjoy this delicacy of the drunkards. With each Canadian city on the tour we have found the best rated poutinerie (yup, that’s what they call them) in that region.
SLIM CESSNA’S AUTO CLUB POUTINE CHALLENGE
Wednesday, May 20, 2015 – Hamilton, Ontario – The Casbah
Hamilton’s BEST POUTINE AT: Smoke’s Poutinerie 112 George Street
Thursday May 21, 2015 – Toronto, Ontario – The Legendary Horseshoe Tavern
Toronto’s BEST POUTINE AT: Poutini’s House of Poutine 1112 Queen Street West
Friday, May 22, 2015 – Ottawa, Ontario – Ritual Nightclub
Ottawa’s BEST POUTINE AT: Poutine Parlour in Orleans 2095 St. Joseph Blvd.
Saturday, May 23, 2015 – Montreal, Quebec – Divan Orange
Montreal’s BEST POUTINE AT: Poutineville 1365 Ontario Est
Sunday, May 24, 2015 – Quebec City, Quebec – L’Agitee
Quebec City’s BEST POUTINE AT: Chez Ashton 54 Côte Du Palais
Now, of course, we have not had the chance to try every poutine in the country, and if you have a better option for Slim and the lads, please feel free to leave a comment and we will try to convey the info the the band on the road. As happens with many of their shows, people enjoy bringing drinks to the stage for the band to enjoy (ahem, Scotch, but not the peaty kind.) While they still whole-heartedly encourage that, perhaps we can also bring them a plate of steaming poutine once and awhile as well. Us who know all about the perils of poutine on our stomachs, this challenge may be the last of its kind, so don’t miss out on it. Giv’r!
p.s. While in Ottawa, there is a place called House of Georgie’s that serves a poutine pizza – stay the fuck away from that. Just sayin. Don’t eat that and try to tour in a van. Nope. That’s won’t work at all. – FATS